ARE YOU SURPRISED NOW?

Surprise – Sex is a big deal among Evangelical Christians. Of course that's no surprise because our culture is saturated with sex. MSNBC has posted a series of articles by columnist Brian Alexander in its America Unzipped, Sexploration series which brings us up to date on current trends in sexual behavior. Much of the information and the quotes in this blog were taken from his reports. You can find them at www.msnbc.msn.com/id/140614561

You won't be surprised, in fact you probably already know that stores offering adult products are going mainstream. No more dimly lit, seedy looking establishments on the interstate service road. Now they're popping up in shopping areas alongside Target and Walmart.

In Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, Alexander reports, you can shop at the 11,000 sq. ft. Fascinations romance superstore, one of its fourteen stores, where you can purchase erotic goods of every conceivable type; sex toys, lotions, lingerie, porn, bondage gear, dildos, and even adjustable nipple clamps. Customer service is emphasized. Sales personnel, many of who are under the age of 25, are “romance consultants.” Sixty-four percent of the customers are women. Business is booming. Adam and Eve, a mail order business, has plans to open 27 stores, so there should be at least one adult superstore in your neighborhood in the near future.

Initially there was opposition to these stores, but the establishments have proved to be good members of the community. There's no stigma attached to shopping there. One woman commented, “I shop at Sex World about twice a year. Being a single mother, toys are safe. My toy won't give me a disease, knock me up, cheat on me or leave me. Also I can replace it without strings attached.” Can't be more forthright and practical and liberated than that.

You will not be surprised to know that women-only, passion parties are rapidly gaining in popularity. Perhaps you have already attended one. These are Tupperware style, multi-level marketing home parties that sell exotic adult products. One salesperson who is a rep for Passion Parties, based in Las Vegas, earned a personal income of $100,000 in 2005 from party sales in small towns and rural areas in eastern Kansas and western Missouri. Nationwide the company does more than 128,000 parties a year racking up about $100 million in sales.

Passion Parties and other companies are seeing double-digit growth. As one salesperson puts it, “These women want the same excitement, orgasms and variations as the women they see on Sex and the City, and they are surprisingly tolerant of the ways others might seek the same.” Since they meet in homes they have no worry about what anyone else might think. One woman responded, “I think searching for self-satisfaction is just another means for fulfilling the great void that one is missing within their life.”

The adult superstores and home passion parties may not surprise you, but the ministry of pastor Joe Beam, founder of Family Dynamics, in Franklin, TN, might surprise you. Joe believes married Christians ought to be having more – and hotter – sex. He is working diligently to liberate evangelical Christians from the debilitating effects of negative sexual inhibitions.

Joe is participating in a growing trend, “to bring sex out of the shadows, educate believers, and relieve their guilt.” Apparently there are a lot of folks who appreciate what he's doing. He argues, “If the Bible does not forbid it, you can do it.” He enthusiastically endorses everything from oral sex, to phone sex, to sex toys. He'll even include anal sex, as long as it does not result in physical injury.

His presentations on oral sex include a mock demonstration with suggestions about how men can adjust their diet to improve the taste of their semen. Wow! “His presentations seem to have a liberating effect on these couples,” says columnist Alexander.

Are you surprised now?

Here's the deal. We live in a culture where everything is sexualized. It is reflected in every component of life; movies, television, food and beverages, the cars we drive, the way we dress – everything. This is a natural outgrowth of the post-Christian philosophy that dominates our culture that says, there is no truth, only truths; there are no rules, only individual choices; there is no God, the individual is responsible and capable of determining his or her own destiny. So its no wonder that we are dominated by a “grab the gusto” approach to living.

The Christian world view stands in sharp contrast, even opposition to the secular mindset. Christians believe there is one God, the Creator of everything, the Redeemer through the blood of Jesus Christ of all who trust in Him. He orders their lives according to His standards which are revealed in the Bible. Even a slow-witted person like me immediately realizes that the Christian and the secular world views are incompatible.

According to the secular world view uninhibited sexual activity is a liberating force, one that reflects the free choices people make that affirm individuality and enhance personal relationships. But the talk of enhancing relationships is just a cover for what is really the never-ending quest for self gratification. In the secular world of sex you don't even need a partner, a vibrator will do.

From the Christian perspective, sexual activity is anchored in the marriage relationship. The ideal is one man and one woman for one lifetime. And the concept of sacrifice and nurture, that is, seeking the benefit of someone else first, is a defining characteristic of a Christian sexual relationship. That's why the Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” And the Bible also teaches us that love is patient and kind and does not insist on its own way.

But today many Christians strive to live in both worlds. They want to maintain the high ideal of mutually-satisfying sacrificial, nurturing, God-honoring sexual expression in marriage, but at the same time experience an exotic, immediate sexual self-gratification like what they see when watching Sex and the City, or Desperate Housewives.

But the world views are incompatible. A choice must be made. Choose to emulate Christ's love for the church in your sexual relations and you will find true satisfaction that includes unlimited ways to show love and enjoy pleasure. Choose to emulate the secular world's striving for self-gratification and you will be running on an endless treadmill of struggling to achieve ever higher levels of erotic excitement that never produces meaningful, lasting satisfaction.

Let's face it, this trend in “relationship enhancement” or “freedom of sexual expression” is bogus. It's simply another example of the influence of the self-centeredness, and self-gratification dominating the secular culture seeping into the lives of professing Christians. You get the impression that most Christians are imprisoned in a world of sexual repression, overwhelmed with guilt, convinced that sex is bad, desperately seeking to be liberated. The truth is that the greatest potential for sexual satisfaction will be found in a marriage relationshp between a man and a woman whose mutual desire is to honor Jesus Christ and one another in every aspect of their lives.

And when did semen achieve a spot on the food pyramid? Is it a gourmet item, like escargot or perhaps it is similar to an after-dinner Drambuie? This is insane! And I hate to bring it up . . . but women especially should be aware of the “gag” factor. Seems for many women oral sex causes them to gag. So it is with liberation; it comes at a price and does not always lead to immediate bliss. Perhaps oral sex is like Scotch, it's an acquired taste. My guess is that most women would choose not to participate in it. Those who do, do so because their husbands, or worse, their boyfriends insist on it. I can hear it now, “Honey, please perform oral sex. Once you overcome the gag factor the experience will enhance our relationship. It will enable you to truly be the woman Christ wants you to be. “ I don't think so!

And Joe's Bean's willingness to include anal intercourse in the evangelicals menagerie of sexual practices is ludicrous. Consider this: The rectum was not made for intercourse. Its at the wrong angle. It's the wrong size. It doesn't have the tough lining the vagina has. It is anatomically incorrect not only because the rectum is too narrow, but it also has a sphincter muscle that is not lubricated and which is open to contamination by feces and parasites and can result in a dilation with subsequent leakage. In contrast, male and female sexual organs are complementary in form and natural lubrication. So Joe, don't tell me that anal intercourse is simply satisfying a God-given desire within a life-enhancing relationship.” It's nuts!

I am no expert in sexual matters and I have no intention of trying to dictate how people should behave sexually, but give me a break, is there no limit to the nonsense that's being spewed about today?